How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
