New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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