Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
