Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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