i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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