I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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