It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
