so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
