Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We don't watch enough power rangers
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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