Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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