whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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