so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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