there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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