everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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