We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
