I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Is it penis luge time yet?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
