I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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