I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
