Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
