Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
