She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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