No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize