I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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