im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
