My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My balls are so social today.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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