He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
