I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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