Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Terrible idea I love it
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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