at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
