he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
