how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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