Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
