Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
