what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
