ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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