Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
