I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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