I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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