next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
