at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize