Are we in a gay sports bar?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
