So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
