I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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