last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Randomize
