Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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