You did not just play the dead husband card again.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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