Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
