Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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