The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
