none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you win again, gameday.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
