I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you had me at cake vodka
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
