she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
