but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Randomize
