She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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