How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
