return my video game
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
